What not to say to a Caeserean Mother

Image from Google

The birthing process has certainly evolved during the last century or so; woman are now offered a variety of drugs and are even able to choose homebirth, but the most recent change is the increase in Caesarean Sections. Between 2012 and 2013 the percentage of caesarean deliveries in the United Kingdom was 25.5% (167,283 deliveries.)

You may or may not have seen the video of a live Caesarean Section circulating Facebook. If you have, you will agree with me that it is both medically and emotionally amazing. There were many negative comments attached to this video, with people classing Caesarean Mothers as “lazy” who have chosen the “easy way out” of child birth. To my surprise, some of these comments were made by people who I knew personally, and even more surprisingly, some of these people were Mothers themselves. Not only are these comments untrue, they are also incredibly insulting for Mothers such as myself who have experienced a Caesarean birth. 

Florence was born by an Elective Caesarean Section. Obviously, this was not how I envisioned my birth to be when I first found out that we were expecting. If you have read my birth plan blog post you would know that I was striving for the most natural, pain free birth that I could have. Of course I didn’t want Florence to be brought into the World whilst I was wired up to machines and pumped to the brim with pain killers. I can barely remember when they held Florence up to us for the first time because the drugs had completely knocked me out... Chris had to force me to stay awake so they didn’t give me a General Anaesthetic during the surgery. 

For a large majority of us Caesarean Mothers, we did not have a choice in the matter. A Caesarean Section was the safest option for myself and Florence.

 “I wouldn’t worry, my baby turned at 38 weeks.”

Brilliant. For the entire duration of my pregnancy Florence was comfortably in the Breech Position. We tried everything to try and turn her; birthing ball, walking, warm baths, breech tilt, standing on my head, cold and hot stimulation. I came out of every Doctor and Midwife appointment in tears because despite trying everything, Florence still hadn’t turned. I eventually had to accept that I would be delivering Florence via Caesarean Section. 

“You’re so lucky to have a Caesarean; it’s so much easier than natural child birth”

Several acquaintances had mentioned how “lucky” I was to be offered a Caesarean Section as this was “easier” than going through labour and delivery naturally. There are so many risks that are directly linked to having a Caesarean delivery such as: 

• Infection of the wound, 
• Infection of the womb lining, 
• Blood clots, 
• Excessive bleeding, 
• Damage to bladder, 
• Aspiration pneumonia, 
• Admission to the Intensive Care Unit.

Not to mention to potential risks that may affect your baby. When Florence was born she had to be checked over by the Paediatrician several times because she was born with Dolichocephaly (a mild cranial deformity in which the head has disproportionately molded into a long and narrow shape, due to mechanical forces associated with breech positioning.) She also had to be given a hip scan at 6 weeks to rule out hip dysplasia. 

P.S – My waters broke 9 days before my Elective Caesarean. I laboured and contracted naturally, and although it was only for five hours it was painful and tough, not easy. 

 

 “Are you sure that your Caesarean was necessary?” 

If your baby is lying in the Breech Position, you’ll often be offered an External Cephalic Version (ECV). This is where they will try and turn your baby into the head-down position by putting pressure on, and manipulating your abdomen. Statistics show that around 50% of Breech babies do turn when this procedure is performed, and of those, most will remain head-down. An ECV was never an option for me. Although large medical studies conducted by the likes of Oxford University have proved that the procedure is relatively safe, research also told me that there was a chance that it could have caused Florence distress, resulting in an emergency Caesarean on the same day. I simply couldn’t justify going through with the procedure and putting Florence in potential danger just for the sake of avoiding surgery. 

Yes, you can deliver a Breech baby naturally, but again, this comes with vast complications such as:

• Umbilical cord prolapse,
• Fetal head entrapment, 
• Injuries to the baby’s brain, skull, spine, and limbs,
• Oxygen deprivation, 
• Prolonged labour,
• Increased risk of perineal tears

Caesareans are performed for a range of medical reasons, and sometimes it is the safest option for both the Mother and the Baby. So no, a Caesarean is not “unnecessary.” 

“You’ll be up and about in no time.”

Not only is the thought of surgery terrifying, there is also the recovery process to factor in. I spent most of the days after Florence’s birth in tears. I felt like a failure of a Mother; I couldn’t get up quick enough to comfort her when she cried, I couldn’t hold her, change her, or dress her without support. For those few days I relied heavily on Chris doing everything for Florence and I. Luckily, Chris was at home with us for four weeks after Florence was born, meaning he was able to drive us everywhere. I was also exempt from driving so if it wasn’t for Chris we would have been stuck in the house for four weeks - four.weeks!

I do believe that I was lucky with my Caesarean Recovery. The first week or two was tough but it started to get easier as the days went on, and I slowly weaned myself off of the high volume of pain killers I was on each day. I do know of some fellow Caesarean Mothers who found their recovery extremely difficult and are still experiencing some discomfort in day to day life.

Whether our babies were brought into the World naturally or via Caesarean we have still experienced birth, just in different ways. No Mother is “better” than another just because they experienced child birth the way that nature intended. Pregnancy and child birth is a powerful and brave experience; please don’t treat it as a competition.

Florence's Bedtime Routine

Chris and I started Florence’s bedtime routine when she was six and a half weeks old. Around this time Florence started spending less of the day napping and more time playing. The change in Florence’s sleep patterns was rather prompt; as soon as she turned six weeks old she didn’t want to nap as much during the day.  This meant that she became over tired and refused to sleep when she really needed to, resulting in a very unsettled little girl. By putting Florence into a bedtime routine it meant that I was able to structure her day a little more so that she had regular naps. During the day her routine often goes something like this: Bottle, Playtime, Nap, Bottle, Playtime, Nap, and so on. This routine is similar to the “E.A.S.Y Routine” that was developed by The Baby Whisperer, Tracey Hoggs (although, there isn't much time for ME time!) 

We have a lovely little bedtime routine in place now, so that Florence understands it is time to sleep. We usually start the routine around 7.30pm, give or take half an hour. This ensures that Chris is home from work and gets to spend some time with Florence before she goes to bed. 

Before starting the routine we make sure that her vest, pyjamas, and nappy are laid out, and that our bedroom is dimly lit by the nightlight on our Angelcare Monitor. 

Here is how Florence’s bedtime routine goes...

·   -We run a bath at 38°C using Earth Friendly Baby Calming Lavender Bubble Bath. The temperature is a little warmer than what is usually recommended, but Florence enjoys it and it gives her longer in the bath before the temperature drops too much! The lavender in the bubble bath helps to relax and calm Florence before bedtime.

·         -We give Florence a little massage, and then change her into a Pampers Baby Dry Nappy and clean pyjamas.

-Then it’s time for cuddles and Florence’s “last” bottle.

·         -Florence usually goes into her Moses Basket awake, with the sound of her Tranquil Turtle playing in the background. We say goodnight and give her one last kiss before leaving the room. 

From day one this routine has worked, and three weeks later it is still (fingers crossed) working. Florence is still only young, and she doesn’t sleep through the night yet. At 11.30pm we give Florence a Dream Feed*, she doesn’t usually take a full bottle but she does take what she needs. Typically, she’ll then wake for a bottle between 2.30am and 3.30am, and then again between 6.30am and 7.30am. 

Of course, there have been occasions where we have been unable to start Florence’s bedtime routine on time. When this is the case we always make sure that we bathe Florence, regardless of the time, before we put her into her Moses Basket to sleep. By doing so Florence is learning to associate bath time with bed time, I also find that she settles easier too. 

* For the last two nights we have stopped giving Florence a Dream Feed at 11.30pm. She had started to only take1oz of her bottle and I figured that she didn't really want/need it. We wanted to see how long Florence would last after her 8pm bottle, and since we have dropped the Dream Feed she has missed the 11.30pm feed and has slept through until 1.30am - 2.30am*

What is your Baby’s bedtime routine? 
When did your baby start sleeping through the night?

My Birth Story

I've been meaning to write my Birth Story for some time now, but every time I go to put pen to paper my emotions get the better of me. Now that Florence is nine weeks old I thought that it's time I get it written so that I don't forget any details. Birth really is the most beautiful thing a person can experience and I would do it all over again in a heart beat.

My pregnancy was completely low risk and problem free – thank goodness. Florence and I ticked all of the boxes at every midwife appointment: clear samples, good blood pressure, growing week by week, perfect heart rate. There was only one little hiccup – Florence spent the entire time in the womb breech. Of course this would happen; my birth plan was four pages long that intricately detailed the perfect, natural, pain free birth that I longed for!

Due to Florence being breech we had to have several presentation scans to confirm her position. My community Midwife booked me in for our first presentation on the 20^th November. It was the quickest appointment but we had to follow the Hospital’s procedure so that we could be scheduled in for an elective section.  The Hospital started to put in plans in place imminently and told me to wait for a letter in the post confirming the date.

I had been experiencing leaking during the days leading up to the scan, and used this opportunity to be examined by the Midwife at the Hospital. My Sister was leaking her waters leading up to the birth of my Niece, and as a result Sophia had an infection when she was born. I wasn’t sure whether I was leaking urine (the joys of pregnancy!) or whether it was in fact my waters. It is always best to be safe when pregnancy is involved so I sought medical advice. The Midwife confirmed by a speculum that my waters hadn’t broken but she couldn’t confirm that the leaking I had experienced wasn’t my waters. I went home and didn’t think too much about it and carried on life as normal. 

The following week I had two interviews for Primary SCITTs. I was still leaking from time to time but tried not to worry, following the advice from the Midwife.  I called the Hospital a couple of days later because I still hadn’t heard about a date – typical. The receptionist told me that I was penciled in for my elective caesarean on the 9^th December, 13 days from the date of the phone call – eek!  

We spent the weekend of the 29^th November at Chris’s parent’s house in Wembley, London. Life carried on as normal; Chris went to work and I spent some time with the in laws. On the evening of the 30^th December we had just gotten into bed when I felt a big gush of water. I quickly ran downstairs and the water wasn’t stopping. I was soaking through thick hospital pads every minute or so and there was a little blood which made me worry the most. I called Chris downstairs and we both started to panic. We had been preparing for this moment for months. Everything was ready... The bags were packed, I was full term, this could of happened at any moment but we still felt so under prepared. 

Chris had seen this friend that evening and had had a drink and didn’t feel comfortable driving me to the hospital, even though he was well within the limit. Luckily, Chris’s Father was able to take us to the nearest Maternity Unit – Kingston. We had to wait for hours at reception before we were seen. There were women in labour next to us, breathing through their contractions and I was becoming restless. When we finally got seen I was hooked up to the monitor and Florence and I were monitored. Everything was fine and Florence was happy. The Midwife didn’t perform another speculum because she could clearly see by the water running down my leg (lovely) that it was my waters that had broken and was happy to confirm this.

Yet more worries had set in at this point; I was 50 miles away from home and I know that Hospitals don’t usually let women home once their waters had broken due to the risk of infection but there was no way I was having my baby in London if I could avoid it. Luckily, they arranged a transfer with the Maternity Unit at Southend Hospital on the basis that I got in the car and went to the Hospital straight away. I was given a steroid injection by the Nurse to support Florence’s lungs as she would be arriving 17 days early and then discharged.

On the journey to Southend Hospital I had started to experience some mild contractions but they were very irregular. Come 5am they were coming every 3-5 minutes but were manageable at this point. We arrived at Southend Hospital at 5.30am the morning of 1^st December. My Mother met us at the Hospital with our bags and we were welcomed by the team of Midwives who had arranged a room on the delivery suite for us. All of my obs were done again and I had yet another speculum and ultrasound to confirm that my waters had broke and that Florence was breech.

Everything happened so quickly. Soon the suite was full of Nurses and Drs who were discussing the consent form and asking me to sign my life away, it was so overwhelming and I just wanted to scream STOP. I was then prepped for surgery and Chris was asked to change into scrubs. We had to walk to the theatre with the Midwife (whilst I was having contractions) and then it all began...

The nurse opened the door to reveal a crystal white theatre; it was so bright and clean, full of Drs, Nurses, Midwives, Anaesthetists, Scrub Staff and Surgeons. They were all here for me. I couldn’t physically walk into the theatre due to the fear and burst into tears. I am so thankful for the Chris and the theatre team for calming me down and ensuring that I was well looked after. The anaesthetist inserted the spinal block and made sure that I was completely numb from the waist down by spraying cold water on different parts of my body. The screen was then put up and the surgeons began to perform the caesarean.

My anesthetist was incredible, and I’ll never forget him. I told him that I didn’t want to know when they were cutting me open, and I just wanted to know when Florence was earth side. Him and Chris started making small talk about home life, the weather, Christmas, anything they could to make sure I wasn’t thinking about what was happening on the other side of that screen.  Of course, I didn’t listen to a word they were saying. The time felt like it was going so slow, all I wanted was for them to place my tiny little girl onto my chest and then everything would be okay. 

At 9.40am on the 1^st December 2014 Florence was welcomed in the World. She was held up for us to see and Chris and I both poured our eyes out. For 9 months we had been waiting for her arrival and she was finally here. Our hearts were so full of love and it was a feeling that nobody could ever explain to you.  She was checked over by the Midwives and Paediatrician before being placed on my chest for skin-to-skin. All the pains and worries really do disappear as soon as you are given your baby.

They didn’t weigh Florence straight away so once we knew that she was happy and healthy I asked for her to be weighed. The Midwife took her off of my chest and popped her onto the scales. She weighed a tiny 6lb 10oz which was completely unexpected as we were always told that she would be a big baby.

Whilst I was being stitched up Chris and Florence were moved to the Recovery Ward where I shortly joined them. On the Recovery Ward I was quite sick, due to the aesthetic I think. The Doctors came to check on me and the Midwife helped Florence to latch on for her first feed. It took some time and some practice, but eventually she got the hang of it and fed for about 15 minutes. I was very surprised how quickly the numbness from the aesthetic wore off, within about half an hour of being on Recovery I was able to wiggle my toes and soon after was able to lift my legs. 

We were then moved to the Post Natal ward where a bed was already waiting for us. I was hooked up to a drip that was providing pain relief and to be honest, I felt great. Once the pain relief medicine had finished I didn’t have any more medication, but they wanted me to keep the cannula in just in case. The rest of the morning and afternoon were spent as just the three of us (minus the Midwives coming in to check on us every now and then). We cuddled, slept, reflected, and stared at our perfect little girl who filled us with so much happiness.  

I was given a pasta lunch and the carbohydrates filled me with energy and perked me up. I then felt that it was the time to try and get up and have a little walk around so we buzzed for the Midwife to come and support me. Before they let me get up they wanted to remove the catheter which was a little uncomfortable, but it didn’t hurt.  I walked a few laps of the ward with the midwife, at first it was a struggle but it’s something that I needed (wanted) to do. 

The nine hours we spent alone seemed to vanish so quickly and it was soon time for our family to come and meet Florence. I changed into a fresh nightie, put some light makeup on and brushed my hair. I wanted to feel more human, more myself. I didn’t want to mope around in blood stained hospital gowns and backcombed hair. 

We were visited by our immediate families but the time they spent with us was a blur; we were both so tired after being awake for a solid 48 hours. After they left Chris and I had some alone time with Florence again. I clung onto every second we spent together because soon it would be time for Chris to leave, and for Florence and I to be all alone.

The overnight stay was the thing I was dreading the most and I didn’t sleep at all that night. I laid in silence next to my perfect, newborn baby. We spoke, we cried, we cuddled, we bonded. This was time that nobody could ever replace. Although I was desperate to take my tiny baby home I didn’t want that night to end. Soon it wouldn’t just be Florence and I. Soon I would have to share her with everyone else that wanted to meet her. 

Partners were allowed back onto the ward at 9am. Chris came back with treats for me and tiny Micro Baby nappies for Florence as the size 1 nappies were massive on her. A paediatrician came to perform Florence’s hearing check but she was only able to receive a clear response from one of her ears. The other ear still had too much fluid in it which is common apparently so she booked us an appointment for a later date. Another paediatrician came to check Florence over before they sent us home, she got the all clear and the Midwife started the process our discharge notes. 

Because Florence was born via cesarean section I was prescribed daily injections to prevent blood clots. We were shown how to use the injections and we gave Chris the lovely job of giving me the injections every day. I was also prescribed a course of Iron as my last blood test showed that my levels were slightly low. After all of the paper work was complete we were able to take Florence home. Leaving the Hospital was such a surreal moment. We were now responsible for this tiny little being and life would never be the same again.

"Sometimes, the smallest things take up
the most room in your heart"
- Winnie The Pooh

           

Florence's Two Month Update

Florence at Baby Sensory

Weight

Now that Florence is that little bit older I only get her weighed every two weeks. For the first few weeks of her life I made sure that I visited the Children’s Health Clinic every week to get her weighed because I was paranoid that she wasn’t putting on enough weight. When we went to the Children’s Health Clinic last Wednesday she weighed 10lb 10oz, exactly four pounds heavier than when she was born. General, Florence is on the 50^th centile for her weight which we are really happy about. However, she had dropped a tiny bit on the centile this week which is to be expected because she’s been a little poorly. 

Daily Routine

Florence has been in a lovely routine since she was six weeks old. My next weeks blog post will be talking about her daily and bedtime routine so keep your eyes peeled! She is usually asleep by 8.30pm, has a dream feed around 11pm and then typically wakes for a bottle between 2.30am and 3.30am, and then again between 6.30am and 7.30am. After her 7.30am bottle she will then nap until 10.30/11am and by then it is time to have another bottle, get ready, and head to our daily baby class.  Florence’s daily routine generally follows the pattern of; bottle, playtime, nap, bottle, playtime, nap. Although, if we are out for the day she tends to sleep for longer in her pram. 

Eating

We make Florence a 5oz bottle at every feed now. Most of the time she will only take 3oz-4oz however, she has started to take the full bottle more regular. We have recently upped her teat size to size 2 as she was really struggling to draw the milk out, was falling asleep during a bottle, and was only taking half her usual feed. As a result of this she dropped a little on her centile line at her last weigh in, which was to be expected. The increase in teat size has really helped her to take the full bottle more regularly, and it now only takes her around 20 minutes to drink a 5oz bottle whereas beforehand it took her up to an hour on occasions. Generally, Florence will take between six and eight bottles during a 24 hour period. I am hoping that this will decrease now that Florence is able to take a larger amount during each feed. 

Clothing

Florence is still in size Newborn clothing (bless!) I am getting so bored of her sleepsuits because she has been wearing them for two months now! I have even bought her new ones so curbed the boredom. Her 0-3 sleepsuits are all so beautiful and I can’t wait to put her in them, but for the time being they still absolutely swamp her. Florence has just moved into size 2 nappies too.

Development

I have been fairly worried about Florence’s development. I kept seeing other babies that were the same age as her smiling and playing, and I often wondered what I was doing so wrong. Florence was a little over two weeks early so I did take this into account when it came to her reaching her milestones. 

Smiling - Finally, after (not so) patiently waiting Florence smiled for the first time when she was 7 weeks old. She made us work very hard for that first smile but we eventually got there. During the past week or so she has been smiling more regularly and doesn’t make us work for them as much. We often make her smile when singing to her, tickling her, and playing with her legs. 

Tracking – Florence is able to track our movement with her eyes. I usually hold a toy about 20cm away from her eyes and move it across so that she can follow it.

Listening – Florence has just started to look to us when we call her name. 

Voice - Florence has just started to find her voice. We are now getting more cooing from her which is so lovely to hear!

Teething – Ahh the dreaded “T” word... Chris started teething young so it was only ever going to be the same for Florence too. She has very rosy cheeks, dribbles a lot, and tries to bite on her hand. As she is so small she isn’t interested in the teething toys we bought her so it’s a case of us soothing her sore gums for her until she can. We bought her an Amber bracelet from a company called “I Like Amber.” Florence wears it on her ankle under her sleepsuits so that it doesn’t fall off and it has seemed to help stop the excessive dribbling. We also use Anbesol Liquid that contains anaesthetic for quick and effective pain relief.