Monday, 20 April 2015

Confessions Of A New Mum

Okay Mamas, it's time to confess. What crazy, funny, a little odd, and possibly embarrassing pregnancy and parenting stories do you all have?!

1) I have told people that Florence is teething when she starts fussing in public.

2) Sleep deprivation is the blame for everything, even on days when I'm not tired. Overflowing laundry basket - tired. Not wanting to cook - tired. Not getting dressed until 3.30pm - tired. 

3) I started wearing gigantic granny knickers after my Caesarean. I am still wearing them.

4) I use Florence to get out of social situations and I am not ashamed to admit it.

5) Florence was sick in my hair once. I forgot about it and didn't wash it for two days.

6) The same goes for clothes.

7) I sometimes watch Chris sleeping peacefully while I'm up at night with Florence and imagine punching him in the face.

8) And when he tells me he's tired.

9) And when he moans when I ask him to do something.*

10) There are some nights where I just have to sit down in the shower.

11) Four hours of broken sleep is a good nights sleep.

12) Baby wipes are the Holy Grail of cleaning tools. From wiping down the high chair to washing the sick out of your hair.

13) I wash the same clothes twice (at least) before I get around to hanging them out to dry.

14) Some days I cry more than Florence does. 

15) I once tried using Dentinox as a sleep aid. It didn't work.

16) Sleep over intimacy. Who has time for that anymore?!

17) I can't go a day without crying. Whether it's over a video, program, film, song, news article. I am so sensitive now! 

18) I have lied about feeling unwell just so I can have five minutes uninterrupted time to myself.

19) I'm 99.9% sure that I fell asleep on the toilet once. 

20) I've questioned whether I have remembered to put Florence in the car or if I have left her in the shop/restaurant/park.

*Dear Chris, I am sure you'll read this at some point. Please don't be alarmed, I don't love you any less but sometimes I really really resent you. Lots of love xxx*


  1. I love this post I can relate to it so much. Glad it's not just me that ends up washing clothes twice before hanging them out xx

    1. I once left them in there so long they started to smell moldy... Luckily I washed them through again and they were okay!

  2. Baby wipes are the best invention ever - they work miracles I swear! They're cleaning ability is amazing! And I always worry I've left Zach somewhere even when he's with me! Great post! xx

    1. I think I clean everything with baby wipes: work surfaces, the settee, my makeup!

  3. We are right there by your side on all of this! I am six weeks off due date with number three so I already have all of these on my inevitably going to happen list....they did with my other two! Joys of motherhood, thank goodness the pay is unconditional love xx

  4. haha! these made me laugh so much, I don't have a baby and have even done some of these!!

  5. I had my baby girl on 2nd Dec, 6 weeks early born by emergency cesarean. Your blog is scarily close to my life and this post made me laugh a lot.. I can relate to almost all of them! Thankyou xx

  6. This post is so accurate it's scary haha!! Xxx